If there are Chinese Americans, can there be American Chinese?
I walked into a room last night filled with 200 or so guests attending a wedding in Shanghai. Normally, I'd be less apprehensive about going to a wedding, unless it happened to be my own, but this situation was decidedly different. Since I happened to be the only non-Chinese person (or 大鼻子"big nose" as the Chinese sometimes refer to foreigners) in the entire room, upon my entrance, 200 or so sets of eyes fell on me.
After I was introduced to some people by my friend, a bit of the initial awkwardness faded. My head was on a swivel keeping up with the animated MC and watching the bride run in and out of the room, each time in a different dress. Like standing at the chaotic Chinese intersections, I was trying to find the logic to it all. As I sat there enduring 7 courses of food that was served to us in 10 minute intervals, toasting the bride, groom and various others with countless shots of 黄酒("yellow alcohol"), a question occurred to me: "is there such a thing as an American Chinese, and, if not, will there ever be?"
It took me spending a substantial amount of time outside of the US to really recognize the diversity that is woven within society in my own country. Sometimes it takes leaving and coming back again to really catch what was clearly in front of you the entire time. Walking down the street in NY, LA, San Francisco, Chicago, Houston or any other major city, you are bound to run into people who are Chinese American, Mexican American, African American, Indian American, Korean American and many more. Some of them are first generation and some are 4th generation Americans. It is quite amazing to listen to some of the stories of struggles people endured and paths they took in search of the "American dream (if you or your family has one, I'd like to hear about it)." Many are in the very interesting, and sometimes complex and challenging, situation of trying to maintain their own culture while simultaneously working to blend in to American society and culture (What is American culture? I'll write about this more later). Many times, this struggle goes unnoticed to most.
As a white middle-class male, I never really thought of myself adding diversity to any group by virtue of where I was born, my skin color or the socioeconomic situation I happened to be born into. As I have gotten older and experienced more, I spend less time thinking about things I cannot control. In reality, we have no control of where they are born or what economic situation they are born into. However, we do have some control of how diverse our minds are. I've made a conscious effort to "diversify" myself by virtue of my experiences and life choices I've made. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
In the huge ballroom I thought to myself "can any non-Chinese really be viewed as Chinese?" My initial response and simple answer to this would be, "no." Although I was able to follow the ceremony, engage in conversation with everyone in the room and at least attempt to lean on my understanding of Chinese culture to blend in, the fact is I am not Chinese. Regardless how many years I spend in China or how many dialects of Chinese I speak, I will always be viewed as a 老外("foreigner"). It begs the question, is this fair or balanced given that millions of once non-Americans become Americans every year? I think the fairness of it all how or I feel about this is of little importance . The important thing is to recognize this is the reality of the situation. There is little I can do as an individual to alter the ingrained mentality of a nation, especially one as old and proudly rich in culture as China. What I can do, is try my best to act as a bridge between my own culture/country and others.
In order to bridge cultures, while language is extremely important, it is not enough. Those that say it isn't important, are deluding themselves. It would be the equivalent of saying, learning English wouldn't be necessary for someone to really understand American culture and society. Those that say language isn't important, many times, haven't taken the time to learn it themselves. So, they don't know little cultural insights and nuances they are missing. While English may be the indisputable world language of business, that shouldn't be confused with the universal language of everything. Language is merely a tool or gateway to understanding the mentality of people. If you agree that people think in a language (are the thoughts in your head just thoughts, or do we think in a language? Can there be thoughts without language?), learning other languages is essentially learning different ways to think. This can put us on the same wavelength with those different than ourselves. What I have also come to appreciate is that learning language is a life-long investment. It is impossible to put languages in boxes and pull them out only when we need them expecting them to be as perfect as they were before. Inevitably, if you don't use it you lose it. Frustrating, but true.
